re-collecting myself

last friday, nagkaron ng recollection sa school.. hindi tlga kami dapat ang magrere-collect pro masyadong buzy ung mga higher years kaya kmi ung nagrecollect.. inferness i enjoyed the seminar.. madaming bagay ang nag-flashback sakin… lahat ng ups and downs ko.. and i found out na im strong.. na khit iyakin ako.. kahit duwag aq.. i surpass all the trials God has given me.. sbi q nga the things that kept me fighting through all that is my family.. all my friends na tlga namang hindi aq iniwan.. inihahatid pa aq hanggang sakayan ng bus.. and the faith i have kay God na kahit kailan eh d aq pababayaan..

and that recollection makes me feel good about myself.. i realized na khit madami aqng problem.. i still manage to be hapi and to make samone hapi.. and thats my life… making samone hapi bcoz of me.. i never thot that sam of them are thankful meeting me.. well dapat lang im that unique tlga.. ala clang mkikitang pasaway na katulad q..

yeah ryt..

i really dnt know kung anung isusulat q dito.. sabi q nga kay lexi.. my blog serves as a journal.. un naman tlga eh.. but im hapi posting all my opinion… sentiments.. and wat ever chenez i want to write.. im hapi kasi napopost q lhat ng gusto qng sabihin.. hindi aq napapagod.. chika na nga ako ng chika maghapon.. xmpre.. not all chika is about me eh.. sbi nga ni ate eda.. mysterious daw aq.. im so madaldal but only few knows kun sino tlga aq.. only few knows my real story .. pang magpakailan man nga un eh.. 

natatawa nga aq pagtinatanong aq ni sir hollman kung cno c toot eh.. kagaling tlga nun.. mukhang alam nyang malapit lang sakin c toot.. napagicpan nyang lagi kaming magkasama.. well i know he’s reading this.. malapit nga xa sa skin sir and i want you to know na kahit anung tanong nyo i wont tell you kasi.. shyness aq.. hehehe..

im juz hapi writing and writng here..

letting go

letting go is the hardest thing to do.. you don’t know where and when to start.. there would come a time na ur in doubt and try asking urself if you really have to let go..

aq.. i think its tym na.. to let go of the feeling i kept for about a year na rin.. i have to let go of the feeling na dapat matagal q na ginawa ksi sa simula plang aq lang ang nasasaktan.. why do i always hurt myself loving someone hu can’t love me back.. and why cant i love the one hu loves me..

i think i have to stop loving him na kasi nahuhurt lang aq.. i have to admit i was expecting samting at first pro habang tumatagal.. mas nakikilala q xa i know i have nothing to expect except friendship.. and im hapi being his friend kso dumating na ata aq dun sa point na sawa na aq.. sawa na aqng maging friend kasi feeling  q inaabuso na o sobrang bait q lang.. o sobrang tanga lng tlga aq.. ewan q..

bye bye na toot..

forbidden love

forbidden love.. taray ng title noh.. bigay pa ni ener yan.. mejo nagiisip nga aq ng isusulat dito sa blog q.. kinda ala aq sa mood kc kagagaling q lang sa sakit.. natalo purefoods.. mejo tatpusin q din ung design.. nadiscareer pa lovelyf q..

yes tama nabasa nyo nadiscareer.. as in sa lahat ng ayaw q kay toot dito na ata aq super na-turn-off.. i didn’t know na his this bastos.. i hate him.. everytime na naiisip q lhat nung ginawa at ginagawa nya.. is so rude grabe.. mahal q lang tlga kya tanggap q pro grabe tlga.. everytime na naiicp q ung bagay na un.. i find myself hating him.. 

cguro nga ito na ung cmula upang itigil na itong kahibangang ito.. kahibangan.. oo kahibangan nga ang tawag q s feelings q sa kanya.. grabe tlga.. for me kasi what i feel for him is really forbidden.. y? kasi his my friend.. ayaw q mafall sa isang kaibigan kasi i find it nakakahinayang eh.. its like loosing everything eh.. ewan q ba.. ang gulo q..

pro sabi nila masarap lhat ng bawal and its true.. loving him really makes me happy.. un tipong ingat na ingat kang mahalata.. na baka sa pagkukwento mo bigla mong masabing "mahal kita" with matching "’coz ur my frend eh..".. un tipong masaya kna makakwentuhan u lng xa.. makatx u lng xa… kikiligin ka pa nga pag nagtx ng kakilig kilig na kowt eh.. na filing mo pra sa’yo pro hindi.. hindi.. hindi.. at kahit kailan eh never na magiging sau.. ina-assume u lng na pra sau.. sabagay it feels good naman tlga eh.. pra lang frequency na pag di given sa problem ina-assume na natin na 60Hz.. pro kahit anung assume u ang lalabas at lalabas eh di u makukuha ung problem.. how sad.. 

lagi nalang ba aqng sad evrytime na gagawa aq ng blog.. sbi nga ni tin "i juz have to think of a hapi thot and i can fly.." well.. im a hapi person in many aspect except lovelyf kaya i know i can fly ang problema.. i still can’t overweight kasi aq eh.. hehehe..

dba.. its so easy thinking of a hapi thot for me ksi madame aq nun.. ui always cherish evryday of my lyf and living lyk it is my last day..

i always thak God for giving me everyday of my lyf meaningful.. khit d me masyado hapi sa lovelyf i know im still bless with my family and friends.. i know He’ll give the best for me.. kun nakita q n xa.. and d q xa napancin.. babalik un.. kun d pa.. il meet him soon..

mejo napapahaba nanaman ang pagkakatype q.. prang alang gagawing design.. lagot aq tyak ky partner..

my post sentiments

feb 15, nandito ako ngaun sa my computer shop sa tabi ng skul..

i woke up around quarter to six this morning considered late from the five am routine ko…  aq galing ng date kagabi kasi una sa lahat d aq ng date… dun lang aq sa bhauz namin.. nakahiga.. nag-iisip.. naiinggit… muntik p nga aq umiyak eh..

panu ba naman ala akong makakasama… this is the loneliest valentine id ever celebrated..d pla aq nagcelebrate.. dumaan lang… ewan q ba.. dati hindi naman.. i am enjoying celerating feb 14 for the past twenty years of my life.. i am enjoying it like the lovers dating HHWWPsSP <holding hands while walking, pa-sway sway pa!> pero iba this years..

cguro nga mararamdaman ko ung pagiging alone and cold this day.. bkit kamo.. lhat ng kasama q sa bahay my date.. c ina my dawg… c jenry my daleng… c chewpot este chewpaw my cheezyhoney… c gels… aun kadate ang computer kagabi d p xa pede eh bata p kz… c cardzbaby inihatid c monti… c diegz my ate kay… c cloyd aun my kadate din… aq??? c denyish.. bkit kamo?? ksi c deyish iniwan ng kanyang minamahal kung klan p valentines natural aq kasama nya.. pinananood nya aq kun panu makipagdate sa tracing paper.. oo.. tama nabasa nyo.. tracing paper nga ang totoong kadate q kagabi.. eh anu naman kaya gagawin kung magsisimiento aq kagabi.. atleast my nagawa me kahit pa inaasar ako ni cloyd na d maganda un ginagawa q… <kesa naman magmukmok..>

naalala q tuloy c toot… kahit di nya man lang aq naalalang batiin ng hapi valentines.. pinaligaya prin nya aq… in so many ways lalo na pag ala me sa mud.. he’ll do the super corny jokes ever na tlga namang bentang benta skin… iba tlga xa eh…i know n baka my kadate xa kagabi… sana maging masaya xa…

haay… badtrip tlga i never thot id be typing all my sentiment today… its juz not ryt… ive been celebrating valentines without a date except for my mom and some close frends all my lyf bkit ngaun prang im alone… naalala q tuloy ung kantang someboby ng depeche mode na nirevive ni jinky ,na kinanta fave song q na b4 i let you go, … bagay na bagay tlga un kantang un sakin lalo na ung part na "To anyone’s strings I’m carefully trying to steer clear Of those things
But when I’m asleep I want somebody Who will put their arms around me And kiss me tenderly…"

of all this years, im very satisfied being single pro bkit ngaun im looking for this someone who will make me feel na im special.. na im being loved…

haaaay…