overwhelm

im here.. very masakit ang ulo.. overwhelm n hindi ko maintindihan.. minsan asa mood ako mag-work.. minsan hindi..
madalas i feel very reactive and guilty of what im saying.. puro observation and grudge feeling for everyone.. haaay.. samtyms naman.. i feel good for everyone..

ngaun.. at this very moment.. i just felt very exhausted.. need to pahinga.. pahinga the utak and the super observation..
samtimes i feel guilty ksi masyadong tactless na ako.. i will say what i want say.. express all the things that needs to be expreesed..
para akong sasabog n bulkan ksi kapag hindi ko sinabi.. hinid rin ako makaka-work ng maaus.. hindi ko n nga magawa ang work ko ng maaus eh.. haaaay.. always nlng b ako ganito.. puro hinaing.. puro reklamo..
klan kya mauuulit ung college days ko na nagpopost ako dito for the sake of maka-pagpost lng.. for all my lablyfs.. kung meron..
i hope i could be just me.. very masayin.. always looking at the brighter side.. always positively passionate in evrything..

breathe

Its October 6, 2008.. malakas ang ulan.. dito ako sa training room.. nagbabantay ng nag-eexam.. nakikinig ng truly, madly, deeply ng savage garden..

Nag-iisip.. nag-iisip kung san nga ba tlga ako pupunta.. mejo nalilito n ksi ako.. nawawala ako sa career pathing ko..

Una, gusto ko maging engr.. hindi naman binigay skin..

Ngahanap ako ng trabaho.. nagging operator ako.. ilang buwan lng nakalipas.. trainer na ako.. ngaun? Kahit san ata ak omagpunta alang satisfaction.. y kya? I like what I am doing.. im learning to love it.. kso there comes a time na I just want to get out of this fucking job.. tulad lng ngaun.. parng gusto ko n xa iwan.. kaso by tomorrow.. or the next day.. gusto ko na namn sya..

Panu kaya magkaka-direksyon ang buhay ko.. lagi nlgn bang.. gigising ako sa umaga.. papasok sa trbaho.. aabutin ako ng gabi.. swertihin kung bayadan ang OT.. tapos.. tutulog.. tapos gigising ulet pra pumasok sa trabaho.. it’s a daily routine n samtyms.. prng gusto ko nlng magpahinga ng isang buong linggo.. un tipong.. pahinga lng tlga..

I am enjoying the company of my colleges here.. I treated them as one of my barkada.. my friends.. cguro they are one of the reason y ang hirap umalis.. parang college lang noh.. hanggang nagun.. we make sure that khit ganu ka-buzy ang sked.. magkikita kita kmi.. parang ganun din cla.. habang tumatagal.. tumatatag ang friendship na mahirap bitiwan..

I hope I could have this sort of direction.. what I want to be.. what I want to achieve.. who I want to be samday.. what I want 2.. 3.. 5 years from now.. because the only time I could say oim successful is that when I grow old.. im happy..

walang wala lng ako..

Its quarter to six in the evening and im still here at Modco… waiting for friends who will take certification exams today..

How am i? its been a long time since I posted things here.. well me?? Quite ok.. but not dat good.. arti ko noh? Super englsh then nagtatagalog n naman ako.. ahehehe..

Its been awhile n aim losing myself na.. na im getting bored na.. na parang I don’t know myself na.. no social life.. no lablyf.. no everything.. all my friends are busy.. busy fixing their lives.. im not just the only person here.. no one will stop or care kung I stop muna along the way.. coz I barely understand that they (my friends) need to work on their lives.. they needed to grow as much as I wanted to grow.. haay.. I miss them so much.. I miss all inuman with all the kwenthan session with them.. no one can replace them.. they’re the one who would crack the corniest joke when you feel crying.. when you feel the world left you behind.. pota hirap ng ginagawa ko.. inglish-saysing.. ahehehehe..

But nweiz.. at the moment.. im getting my old self back.. im hoping n mabalik nga un..

I lost so many things in myself and im hoping that ill gain it back..

Haaay.. kakamis ang mga kaibigan..

summer it out

well,  how am i?? im good.. i felt good after the board exams.. i have no regrets.. im happier now.. mas clear ang gusotng patunguhan.. cguro nga not all things you want is laging binibigay agad.. maybe GOd want me to learn samtings in lyf.. mabybe He wants me to strive harder to achieve it.. not juz by luck or ay faith.. usto nya cguro sabaw sabw un.. but in any way.. im happy.. happy in my life.. in what i am right now.. maybe not contented pwo happy.. i knw He has plans for me.. hinid ko plang ma-get..cguro i need a deeper in-touch wiht Him.. mejo matagal na nung huli e.. i know it snot easy for everyone to realiza this na ang kabiguan ay kakabit ng tagumpay.. shet ang lalim.. but at the moment i would start to open my old notes.. my review materials.. by sept i should be engr a.. sana.. pagsasabayin ko lahat.. i have to give up samting juz to attain this dream of mine.. pwo hindi ko pa alamkung anu un kya chill lng muna.. ill start reviewing nlng.. tutal naman la ako maxado inaasikaso sa trbaho.. unless maghahanap ako ng bagong trabaho.. aheheh..

putol na daliri

gada ng title ko ngaun noh? y?? ksi ako na muntik maputol ang daliri.. ahehe.. galing ko ksi eh.. dmi ko ksi iniicp eh..

a lot of times iniicp ko.. how will i achieve my goals..  how and when do i need to start?? anu nga ba gusto ko career?? well.. i do have troubled mind ngaun.. kya pti daliri ko nakuha ko ipasok sa electric fan.. 

kla ng lhat its very easy to answers those questions.. what they do not know is that its the hardest thing to answer nor do.. why?? ksi sarili mu kalaban mu.. hirap maging satified sa buhay kung hindi mu na-achive ang pangarap mu.. pwo knowing na nakakatulong ka sa family mu.. i think pampalubag loob n un.. 

cguro.. icipin ko nlng yang lintik kong pngarap after i finished my duties and resonsibilities sa family.. but when kya un?? 

hindi ako khit kailan napagod tumulog sa knila bcoz what i am doing right now is for them.. all my dreams are for them.. kso mahirap lng tlga pasabayin ang dalawa.. you have to choose lng tlga.. at ganun cguro ang buhay.. you have to choose..

choose as dapat.. sa tama.. sa dapat n mgiging masaya ka.. bcoz thats how you’re love ones want you to be.. to be happy in everythng you do.. and the only thing that makes you happy is when you are able to help the one you love.. not juz financially but emotionally, spirituallly and help them to grow their personality.. 

lyf is so short and i should enjoy it.. enjoy every bit of it.. make used to it..